Why do I run? A question, that randomly popped into my head after my run today. The answer came right away, as I caught myself doing a little jig in the kitchen, smiling.
I run because running makes me happy.
No exaggeration, running is my drug, my medication.
To me, it’s incredibly powerful. Societally speaking, I find running often undervalued in terms of how profoundly impactful it can be. To me, it’s the shaman to a swath of ailments—visible and invisible, physical and mental.
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I’ve done therapy, to deal with debilitating anxiety and chronic depression. I’ve seen two therapists, roughly 5 years apart but each time for the same things.
The experiences were fine, but in both cases, the fix to get me out of the rut was not the therapy but rather a pledge to myself shared with my therapists. To run or bike FREQUENTLY and CONSISTENTLY, involving some degree / level of zone 5 heart rate intensity.
Since the last time I went to therapy about ~3 years ago now, I haven’t been depressed. Sure I still get melancholic from time to time, as is perfectly normal and expected, but as those who are or have been sufferers know, melancholy and depression are not the same things.
Looking back, it’s easy to attribute one common and consistent pattern to the full blown depression periods—not doing what I personally NEEDED to do to sustain my mental health: Run, run, run—and run some more.
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Since my first recognition of those symptoms (about 10 years ago), running has been *the* reliable remedy that can literally fix, suppress, or ease ALL my problems. It’s the one thing that never fails.
I remember this one period, an especially dark time when I was going to therapy. One night (after many recurring nights like this), I was especially depressed, and exhibiting a debilitating and uncooperative demeanour.
I remember feeling like I was 1000 pounds. Feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world, and all problems known to mankind. Which, couldn’t of been further from the truth, but this was not a rationale mind. I had body aches everywhere and I felt awful in all kinds of ways.
Long story short, .. despite having no energy, desire, or motivation whatsoever, and wanting to do absolutely nothing but curl up into a fetal position and lie motionless with my eyes closed and face covered with a pillow, I eventually forced myself to literally crawl to the treadmill that would shed away that 1000 pounds of bad energy eating me from the inside out.
I was astonished at the time, and still am every time I recall that moment. The astonishing fact being how shockingly FAST my mood or feelings got turned around a full 360 degrees, just by running.
Beyond that one experience, I have had similar ones HUNDREDS of times. One minute, I am feeling awful, down in the dumps or pent up like a toy poodle, and the next free of all tension and toxic energy.
I have seen myself go from shocking extreme opposites, in the matter of minutes. From feeling completely defeated, incapable, hopeless, and utterly useless, to feeling confident, and beyond capable—sometimes in a euphoric and delusional way, but at least one possessing an air of positivity instead of negativity.
I can recount turning sad frowns, and slumped shoulders to beaming smiles and a head held high. The smile happens when I realize "holy crap, I’m proud of you Mich. You’re here, you’re doing what you need to do and how remarkable is this to go from one complete extreme to the other just by running."
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No matter what kind of runner you are, running will always challenge you. That challenging side of things, also makes me happy.
We are all capable of more than we can imagine, to me there’s no better testament to that than running.
One day you’re bragging to your doctor about running 3 times a week to the local Blockbuster store and back for a 3.2 kilometre run, and the next you’re running easy tens on any day of the week with no prep required.
One day you’re finishing your first 10 kilometre run telling yourself it was the hardest thing and that never in a million years will you repeat such a foolish act, and 10+ years later you’re crossing the marathon finish line exhilarated and excited to take on the next one.
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Years worth of committed consistent running, have allowed me to observe, measure, and acknowledge my progress on a very real plane.
I’m able to validate my potential to go further and become better with recurring efforts and practice. Looking back and comparing with the past confirms it. There’s potential for continued growth, so long as I’m willing to continue showing up and do what I need to do.
When you commit to running long term, you eventually develop a craving / hunger for more.
A desire and temptation to go further or faster or both. You’ve seen the effects, and that opportunity to grow is always there for the taking. Grow in terms of running, and grow in terms of personal character development.
Running for me has been and will continue to be a lifelong endeavour to a healthy body, mind, and soul.
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So that’s why I run, my dearest people. Nurturing my running means nurturing my well being.
Pushing my running boundaries helps me see more clearly and appreciate life to its fullest. Running in a steadfast manner helps me cope and overcome hard times.
Running has made me happy and continues to make me happy. It brings me joy. It makes me a better me for myself, and it makes me a better me for my girls and the rest of the world.
To you I say, keep running if you run and start running if you don’t, I swear by it. As simple a thing as a commitment to frequently and consistently run, can literally transform your life—it has for me.